Here’s a really fast and lasting way to relieving yourself of unhelpful emotional reactions that hinder you.
Have you ever noticed that you can have odd emotional meltdowns for seemingly no reason?
Maybe someone is triggering you constantly and you just can’t seem to bring your nervous system out of that reaction when they do certain things…
Here is a simple at to deal with these daily pesky annoyances or even some of the larger more problematic ones.
1. Identify if it is an appropriate response.
Sometimes the emotion we have when things happen are actually totally appropriate, it’s just that maybe our reaction is disproportionate or harms us in some way.
Eg.
Someone taking something of yours.
Anger is totally appropriate if that is what you feel, but how you express it, what you do with it may not be.
Actions: You may need to work on calming techniques, one way is moving your body, this can defuse the adrenaline spike happening, running on the spot, jumping jacks, squats… anything that uses up the adrenaline running through your system that your nervous system has stored up for fight, flight, freeze or feint. (btw-punching and kicking actually riles the body up mor and doesn’t diffuse)
You’re then in a much better mental state to decide a course of action.
2. If you have identified that it is an inappropriate reaction from your emotions or mind then you can ask:
When this happens, what does that mean to me?
Eg. Scenario:
Someone looks at you in what you consider is a funny way.
You then confront them “what are you looking at me like that for?”
Or
You seethe on the inside assuming they don’t like you or there is something wrong with how you look.
Or
You carry it around with you as it eats you up, thoughts about it ruin your day.
Any of these reactions make an assumption of what or how an other person is thinking.
Once you have found out what that means to you, you now know your trigger.
In scenario above, my meaning could be – the person looking at me funny means that I’ve done something and they have found out and I’m going to get in trouble….
In basics,
When someone looks at me in a slightly funny way = I’ve done something wrong
(these are called complex equivanlence in NLP and other modalities)
Emotional reaction might be – Protect myself
Your nervous system can put that in the realm or fear or fight… not great for your system.
This most likely is something that has been encoded somehow from experiences in your past.
Before you begin to unpick, go for healing etc, you can actually diffuse this in a very simple way.
3. Imagine at least 4-5 other meanings that are not about you…..
Eg, same scenario as above
Alternate meaning 1
The person is lost in thought and isn’t actually looking at you, just in your direction.
Alternate meaning 2
They love your hairstyle/clothes/smile
Alternate meaning 3
They are thinking of a way to ask you a question
Alternate meaning 4
They have no other thoughts going on, they are just looking
By doing this exercise, you’ve already diffused the possible emotional outburst and can now be in a calm state to handle whatever is the outcome without expectation.
Also, this will calm any hostile signals you may have been inadvertently sending and whatever the situation can diffuse it.
This is a great technique when you don’t feel the need to delve yet, works great for emotional teens too
Have you tried something like this before?
I’d love you to test it out and let me know if it works for you.
I use it myself for many situations as it begins to open up more positive options and gets the mind out of a negative state.
