If we want to experience the power that comes from inner peace, I think we do have to learn to not give a “…” about quite a lot of things and people and their opinions and judgments and also develop a healthy detachment from our own compulsive need to be right.
I’m not talking about critical issues, about overlooking the blatant intentional damage and abuse people do to each other. That’s indefensible to ignore – full stop.
No – I’m talking here about the way so many of us get so unnecessarily worked up and offended and insulted by someone else’s opinions or positionality or point of view.
Most of us can catch ourselves consumed with thoughts like “I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY SAID OR DID THAT “.
But, guess what- they did, and you are very likely wasting valuable mental energy insisting they should do or say otherwise because they can change their mind or you can change your mind in a second usually without coercion or being guilted or admonished.
That’s one very good reason not to impulsively react in defence today and provoke more conflict to deal with tomorrow.
Opinions are temporal.
What’s illuminating if you dig deep enough inside yourself is that what really fuels your desire to defend your opinion or position is often aggression – we actually keep our difference of opinion, problems and challenges and toxic difficult people and circumstances in our life as a way to entertain our aggression.
But look more deeply, and you find that our aggression is a smokescreen for the vulnerability and insecurity that you keep hidden even from ourselves.
Vulnerability is actually the biggest lie about ourselves that we never question because we don’t know how to live without it – how to penetrate it and go beyond it.
We have all been conditioned to believe we are vulnerable to threat and therefore unsafe in this world and that fear of threat is normal.
So most of us defend this vulnerability by trying to get people to agree with us so that we don’t feel attacked or isolated and we carry an aggression that constantly ticks away beneath the radar of our own awareness.
We have read the books and we want to believe that we create our own reality without realising that we have set ourselves up for an attack like a self fulfilling prophecy .
We have believed that our fearful conditioning is a fixed reality as opposed to something temporal that we can actually let go of.
Of course many of us carry the trauma from childhood and past life woundings and these wounds have to be healed first , by unravelling and diffusing the complex energetic defences that are entrenched in our neurobiology before we can let go of the primal conditioned fear of attack.
With the right intervention; trauma healing takes us beyond the memory and triggers from abuse or attack, back to the invulnerable safe harbour within that is our innate being .
It’s where we are completely aligned with the loving will of COURSE..
Saying that you have aggression may have pressed a button right ?
It doesn’t sound very spiritual or evolved yet we all do have aggression.
So if we can accept this without judgement (more attack) and not make it wrong- (notice animals are cool with it ) we can channel it or diffuse it and go beyond it.
You can easily channel aggression with physical exercise. But a more lasting transformational way is to diffuse it with self enquiry and uproot the vulnerability that spawns it.
I don’t mean worship and wear vulnerability like a badge of honour like so many advocate.
Please ask yourself if you have noticed that being raw and openly vulnerable changes absolutely nothing at all or very little .
You are still scared – but now you can have a fan base of equally scared people all sharing their “authentic vulnerability “.
It’s a trend – that can attract an instant following on Facebook or Instagram or whatever !!
To what end ? It’s just live drama – and drama is an addiction for people who don’t want to do the inner work and really heal. They want attention more than they want to be free
Sure – it’s a trend that connects people who get a kick out of indulging their drama together but it doesn’t actually heal anybody back to freedom or the truth of our invulnerability and power.
I actually work with clients to help them go beyond the wounds around vulnerability.
Not by ignoring it or trying to transcend it through dissociative detachment but by unravelling vulnerability totally.
Vulnerability comes from a conditioned unchallenged belief in attack and the subsequent need for self preservatory defence. It has run a chunk of the history of mankind but that doesn’t mean it has to run you, unless you believe it does.
Deconstruct this belief in attack and you completely change your reality.
You create a different reality from the deep core of your innermost being without the fear of attack .
This takes work. Not superficial mindset work but profound energetic transformation that brings huge dividends in every area of your precious life.
Here are some more pointers for self enquiry:
Give yourself time to consider that any belief, positionality or opinion you have is not an absolute truth in that we can all change our minds about what we think or believe or what we assume is right or wrong.
To change our mind is our prerogative -it is freedom.
An even greater freedom is to be wrong , to allow ourselves to be wrong , not judge ourselves and not give a … about having to be right all the time or what others think.
Wrong is alright if you let BE alright.
That is your freedom- to decide what you want to think about ANYTHING .
The idea of choice in this is totally radical for many of us because we are so terrified of being judged for being wrong for what we think or do and God forbid if we think original thoughts for ourselves. But when we change our belief and let go of our fear of being wrong or contested, we lose the energetic attraction that magnetises things to be wrong about and we also lose the judgement or fear of judgement from others . But you have to be courageously willing to be wrong about something to test this out for yourself.
Can you be willing to be wrong sometimes or not need to justify your opinion if someone opposes yours. Can you not give a “….” about being right or wrong and let people say what they want and just be quiet.?
Do you have to be offended or threatened if someone very close to you doesn’t agree with you ? Do you have to strike back and win?
Will it matter what you think tomorrow or in 6 months ?
We are most offended when we believe we are threatened , that someone else’s truth somehow threatens our truth.
What we rarely ask ourselves is -can truth actually be threatened?
Can it be influenced or destroyed by an opposing opinion, rumour or gossip or lie?
If we believe someone’s opinion threatens us, we are actually giving our power away.
Because , no matter the personal or professional situation – an opinion only affects you to the degree that you believe it carries the weight of influence to threaten or hurt you in some way.
If someone lies or maliciously gossips or spreads rumours about you- it carries no weight of influence unless you believe it does and you react with defence, with aggression, with forceful self justification.
Your reputation and status is always dependent on the power of truth not lies.
But to test this out you have to be inwardly strong and trust this and not give into fear and become aggressively defensive over lies.
The power of love which is truth will dissolve rumour and lies – but you have to let LOVE unfold its power in your life rather than force things out of fear that LOVE won’t be enough to take care of you.
When you believe love won’t be enough to take care of you – you are attacking yourself. Why? Because you do not trust the strength of the power of LOVE that is the source of all that you ARE.
You have probably not been taught to identify yourself with this type of love so how can you trust yourself if you do not know what and who you ARE?
You have to learn how to trust yourself, that love will always support you , the same way that you learn to exercise a muscle until that muscle is strong and dependable and will support you.
Mistrust in ourselves is the root of all our aggression because our vulnerability comes from this false conditioned belief we are not innately safe and so we believe we have to aggressively defend ourselves and shield ourselves in our intimate relationships, our work and every corner of life in fact.
Transformation means a profound release from this false belief from all our energy fields right down to our cellular body.
As we do this the power of love emerges effortlessly to intelligently organise our life in sovereign safety .
Misaligned vulnerability, fear and defence become redundant !
